WHAT'S NEW 2003 & 2004 ARCHIVE

DASD

****NEW STUFF AS OF 10/21/04****

HEY! IT'S ONLY BEEN 6 WEEKS! I'M IMPRESSED! HOW ARE YOU ALL? I'M JUST DANDY. MAN, THERE'S SO MUCH TO COVER. LET'S SEE, FIRST AND FOREMOST, RUSS AND I WENT TO NEW YORK FOR A WEEK. IT WAS SOOOOO WONDERFUL! I WAS THERE TO DO A THING FOR TBS CALLED "THE NEW YORK INTERCONNECT". BASICALLY, (TO SPARE YOU THE BOREDOM) IT'S A SHOW THAT A BUNCH OF CABLE OUTLETS PUT ON TO GET ADVERTISERS TO BUY AD SPACE ON THEIR SHOWS. SO, THE DINNER AND A MOVIE CREW, (PAUL, CLAUD, AND MYSELF) HEADED ON OUT WITH RUSS AND CLAUD'S FAMILY IN TOW. THE FIRST COUPLE OF NIGHTS WE STAYED AT THE "W" IN TIMES SQUARE. LOVELY PLACE. VERY HIP. A BIT TOO HIP FOR ME. BUT TBS WAS PICKING UP THE TAB SO IT WAS JUST PERFECT!! ANYWAY, THE NY INTERCONNECT WAS FINE, BUT THE TRAPPINGS WERE DIVINE! WE SAW SOME COOL CELEBS MY FRIENDS:

CAN YOU SAY SHERMAN HELMSLEY??? (GEORGE JEFFERSON FROM "THE JEFFERSONS" FOR THOSE OF YOU UNDER 30).
CAN YOU SAY ISIAH THOMAS? (BIG BASKETBALL LEGEND).
MOST IMPORTANTLY, CAN YOU SAY CYNDI LAUPER????

SIDE BAR: IN THE 80'S, THERE WERE TWO CAMPS. CAMP #1 WAS THE MADONNA CAMP. CAMP #2 WAS THE LAUPER CAMP. I SPENT MANY DAYS AT MADONNA CAMP, BUT I HAD MONTH LONG SLEEPOVERS AT LAUPER CAMP. I LOVED CYNDI LAUPER. I THOUGHT SHE HAD AN AMAZING VOICE AND A WACKY PRESENCE THAT COULDN'T BE DUPLICATED. I EVEN STUCK WITH HER THROUGH HER CAPTAIN LOU ALBINO PHASE, AND WHEN SHE SANG ABOUT MASTURBATION. (SHE BOP)

SO, BACK TO THE STORY. CYNDI FREAKING LAUPER WAS THE SPECIAL MUSICAL GUEST TO BUTTER UP THE AD GUYS TO MAKE THEM BUY MORE AD SPACE. BY THE END OF HER HOUR-LONG PERFORMANCE, I WAS BUYING AD SPACE!! SHE WAS AMAZING. NO EXAGGERATION. UNBELIEVABLE. IT WAS A DREAM COME TRUE.

THE NEXT DAY I DID ANOTHER VH1 THING: "AWESOMELY BADDER FASHION". IT WAS FUN, AND I LIKED SAYING I "WORKED" IN NEW YORK FOR A DAY. THEN, RUSS AND I WERE ON OUR OWN FOR A WHOLE FIVE DAYS. WE SWITCHED HOTELS AND STAYED AT THE RITZ CARLTON IN CENTRAL PARK. IT WAS MAGNIFICENT. WE WENT TO THE TENEMENT MUSEUM ON THE LOWER EAST SIDE, THE METROPOLITAN MUSEUM OF ART, THE BROADWAY SHOW: "AVENUE Q", AND ATE AT MANY WONDERFUL RESTAURANTS. IF YOU GET THERE ANY TIME SOON, I HIGHLY HIGHLY RECOMMEND PEPOLINO IN SOHO/TRIBCA. THE BEST ITALIAN MEAL I'VE EVER HAD. WE WALKED ALL OVER MANHATTAN. MY FAVORITE WALKS WERE THE ONES THROUGH CENTRAL PARK, WHERE WE SAW ABOUT 1,000 DOGS, MOSTLY PUGS AND TERRIERS, AND GREENWICH VILLAGE, WHICH IS A FEAST FOR THE EYES AND EARS. I ALSO ENJOYED GETTING A COUPLE OF H&H BAGELS ON THE UPPER WEST SIDE, SITTING ON A CURB AND PEOPLE WATCHING FOR A FULL 90 MINUTES. ONE LAST THING: THERE'S NOTHING LIKE RAY'S FAMOUS PIZZA NEAR TIMES SQUARE AT 2:00 AM. NEW YORK IS MAGICAL. I LOVE IT THERE. OF COURSE, IT WAS GREAT TO COME HOME TO BOGIE!!

BY THE WAY, HERE'S A LIST OF THE REST OF THE CELEBS WE SAW IN NY:

CONRAD BAIN (MR. DRUMMOND FROM DIFF'RENT STROKES) AT A RESTAURANT

RICHARD HATCH (WINNER OF THE FIRST SURVIVOR) OUTSIDE A HOTEL

BILL RANCIK (WINNER OF THE FIRST APPRENTICE) I SAID, "GOOD JOB, BILL!" HE SAID, "THANKS!"

LILY TAYLOR!!!!! I SAW HER AT A NEWSTAND AND WANTED TO TELL HER HOW GREAT I THINK SHE IS. I'VE BEEN A FAN SINCE MYSTIC PIZZA AND SAY ANYTHING. SIX FEET UNDER PUT HER OVER THE EDGE! BUT, I JUST LET HER WALK BY. SHE LOOKED LIKE SHE DIDN'T WANT TO BE BOTHERED.

ODD GROUP OF CELEBS, BUT EXCITING NONETHELESS!

FOUR DAYS AFTER WE GOT HOME, OCTOBER 9TH, I GOT TO DO SOMETHING I'VE BEEN DREAMING ABOUT SINCE I WAS A LITTLE GIRL. I GOT TO GO TO A DODGERS PLAY OFF GAME. DUE TO SOME ODD CIRCUMSTANCES, MY FRIEND SOLD ME HER UNBELIEVABLE SEATS, AND RUSS AND I HAD A GREAT TIME. JOSE LIMA PITCHED A SHUT OUT, AND IT WAS THE 2ND TO LAST GAME OF THE DODGER SEASON. BUT, I WAS THERE!!! IT WAS A NIGHT I'LL NEVER FORGET. ESPECIALLY BECAUSE IT TOOK AN HOUR AND 45 MINUTES TO GET OUT OF THE FREAKING PARKING LOT.

JUST A COUPLE MORE THINGS. I SHOT AN EPISODE OF "SIGNIFICANT OTHERS" FOR BRAVO. I'M NOT SURE WHEN IT'LL AIR, BUT IT WAS A LOT OF FUN. I ALSO SHOT AN EPISODE OF "WORLD CUP COMEDY" FOR PAX. IT'S AN IMPROV COMPETITION SHOW WHICH WAS PRETTY INTERESTING TO SHOOT. I'M NOT SURE WHEN THAT'LL AIR EITHER, BUT I'LL TRY TO KEEP YOU UPDATED. ALSO, MY "STRONG MEDICINE" IS SET TO AIR ON HALLOWEEN. TRY NOT TO GIGGLE AT MY MELODRAMA.

THIS IS REALLY THE LAST THING. IN CASE YOU HAVEN'T NOTICED, DINNER AND A MOVIE IS NOW AIRING ON FRIDAY NIGHTS. YAY!

THANKS SO MUCH FOR CHECKING IN.

LISA

DASD

****NEW STUFF AS OF 9/12/04****

MY GOODNESS, IS IT SEPTEMBER ALREADY? WELL, IT'S OBVIOUS THAT MY UPDATES HAVE BECOME LESS OF A "BLOG" AND MORE OF A "BLAH", BUT HEY, I'M ONLY HUMAN. SO, HERE'S THE LATEST:

I JUST GOT BACK FROM ATLANTA AFTER SHOOTING SOME MORE "DINNER AND A MOVIE" SHOWS. IT WAS GREAT FUN, AS USUAL. LAST TIME IT FELT LIKE HOME, AND THIS TIME EVEN MORE SO.

I SHOT AN EPISODE OF A LIFETIME SHOW, "STRONG MEDICINE", A COUPLE OF WEEKS AGO. IT'S THE HALLOWEEN EPISODE AND I PLAY A WOMAN WHO'S BEEN HIT BY A BUS. MY SCENE IS A BIT MELODRAMATIC, BUT IT WAS SUCH A GOOD TIME. I GOT TO BE UNCONSCIOUS FOR TWO SCENES, AND KEEPING MY MOUTH SHUT WAS SOME OF THE MOST CHALLENGING WORK OF MY LIFE. THE CAST AND CREW WERE INCREDIBLY NICE, AND I GOT TO WALK AROUND WITH FAKE GASHES, BRUISES, AND BLOOD ALL DAY. PRETTY COOL STUFF.

I SHOT ANOTHER VH1 SHOW CALLED "AWESOMELY BADDER GIRLS". I'M NOT SURE WHEN IT'LL AIR, BUT ONCE IT DOES... IT WON'T STOP! I LOVE DOING THOSE SHOWS. LOOK FOR "TOTAL POP CLASH" IN OCTOBER. THAT ONE SHOULD BE PRETTY DAMN FUNNY. AND I'M SHOOTING ANOTHER ONE AT THE END OF DECEMBER. IT'S 2004'S TOP 40 VIDEOS, I THINK. IF YOU HAPPEN TO CATCH THE "BAD GIRLS" ONE, I'M WEARING AN ADORABLE T-SHIRT FROM A COMPANY CALLED STRANGE MONSTER. THEY MAKE AWESOME, FUN SHIRTS AND THEY'RE GREAT FOLKS TO DEAL WITH. I FOUND THEIR AD IN THE BACK OF "BUST" MAGAZINE (MY NEW FAVORITE)! CHECK OUT THEIR WEBSITE AT WWW.STRANGEMONSTER.COM. THEY'VE GOT A TON OF COOL STUFF.

THE "CRANK YANKERS" DVD IS COMING OUT SEPTEMBER 28TH! IT'S THE FIRST SEASON, I BELIEVE UNCENSORED. I DID A BEHIND THE SCENES INTERVIEW, AS DID SEVERAL OF THE OTHER CRANK CALLERS. I EVEN MADE OUT WITH MY PUPPET. SHE'S A REALLY GOOD KISSER. ANYWAY, BUY IT. IT'S GONNA BE HILARIOUS. PLUS, I PROBABLY GET A HALF A PENNY FOR EVERY 10 UNITS SOLD.

ON A PERSONAL NOTE, MY HUSBAND AND I TOOK A DRIVE UP TO OREGON IN AUGUST. WE TOOK OUR DOG, BOGIE, AND VISITED MY IN-LAWS AND OUR NEICE AND NEPHEW. IT WAS A BEAUTIFUL DRIVE, AND A WONDERFUL TRIP. BOGIE MANAGED TO HOLD HIS BLADDER FOR THE ENTIRE 15 HOUR DRIVE UP. I WAS AFRAID HE WOULD EXPLODE, BUT INSTEAD HE PEED FOR 115 SECONDS STRAIGHT, AS SOON AS WE PUT OUR SUITCASES DOWN IN MY BROTHER-IN-LAW'S HOUSE. IMPRESSIVE. OREGON'S A LOVELY STATE. AND IT WAS GREAT SEEING THE FAMILY.

MAN, I JUST SOUND LIKE LITTLE MARY SUNSHINE, DON'T I? WHAT CAN I SAY? THERE'S NOTHING TO COMPLAIN ABOUT! HOW OFTEN DOES ONE GET TO SAY THAT? ACTUALLY, I'M TRYING TO BECOME THE TYPE OF PERSON WHO COMPLAINS AS LITTLE AS POSSIBLE. LIFE'S TOO DAMN SHORT TO BE UNHAPPY. IF YOU'VE GOT YOUR HEALTH, A ROOF OVER YOUR HEAD, FAMILY, FRIENDS, FOOD TO EAT, AND LOVE... THERE'S JUST NO REASON TO NOT BE THRILLED TO BE ALIVE. SO, I'M THRILLED!

ONE LAST THING: WE HAD TO RE-REGISTER TO VOTE, BECAUSE WE MOVED. I KEEP HEARING ALL OF THESE AWFUL STATISTICS ABOUT PEOPLE NOT GETTING OUT TO VOTE. WELL, NO MATTER WHAT YOUR PARTY AFFILIATION, MAKE SURE YOU REGISTER, AND VOTE! I'M CERTAINLY NOT THE MOST INFORMED PERSON IN THE WORLD. FRANKLY, I MIGHT BE THE LEAST INFORMED PERSON IN THE WORLD! BUT, I KNOW VOTING IS A FREEDOM WE CAN'T AFFORD TO TAKE FOR GRANTED. SO, THERE. THAT'S MY BIG POLITICAL SPEECH.

HOPE YOU'RE ALL WELL. THANKS FOR TAKING THE TIME TO READ MY BLAH.

THANKS FOR CHECKING IN!

LISA

 

****NEW STUFF AS OF 7/1/04****

I KNOW, I KNOW. I AM A LAME ASS. IT'S BEEN OVER TWO MONTHS. BUT, I'VE BEEN REALLY BUSY!! "TOO BUSY TO UPDATE YOUR OWN FREAKING WEBSITE?", YOU ASK. UM, YES?

SO, I'VE BEEN GETTING ALL SETTLED IN TO THE NEW DIGS. MY HUSBAND BUILT AN AWESOME DECK OUT BACK, WHICH IS NOW MY FAVORITE PLACE IN THE WORLD. THE DOG'S GAINED OVER 20 POUNDS. WOAH! SLOW DOWN, BOGART! HE'S GETTING HUGE. IT'S GREAT.

FIRST OF ALL, I DID A COUPLE OF THINGS FOR VH1. ONE OF THEM IS "VH1'S ALL ACCESS: AWESOMELY BADDER HAIR." IT'S ONE OF THOSE "CELEBRITY" COMMENTARY SHOWS THAT THEY'VE BECOME FAMOUS FOR. IT'S GONNA START AIRING ON JULY 10TH, SO LOOK OUT FOR IT. I HAD A BLAST DOING IT. I ALSO DID ONE CALLED "TOTAL POP CLASH". I'M NOT SURE WHEN THAT'LL AIR.

ALSO ON THE WORK FRONT, LISTEN FOR MY VOICE ON NEW PROMOS FOR THE WB. I'M THE CHICK ON THE "BLUE COLLAR TV" PROMOS. HOPEFULLY, I'LL BE DOING A LOT MORE IN THE FUTURE. ACCORDING TO THE WB, I'M THE FIRST FEMALE VOICE EVER ON THEIR PRIME TIME PROMOS. THAT ROCKS, NO? WELL, IT MAKES ME HAPPY!

WE JUST GOT BACK FROM ATLANTA, FILMING ANOTHER 8 EPISODES OF "DINNER AND A MOVIE". HAD A TOTAL BLAST! ATE AT SOME GREAT PLACES, HUNG OUT WITH COOL FOLKS, AND HAD A GREAT TIME SHOOTING THE SHOWS. THE CREW OUT THERE IS PRETTY GREAT. I MISS THE LOS ANGELES CREW A TON, BUT THE ATLANTA PEEPS ROCK. THIS TIME IT REALLY FELT LIKE HOME. FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO LIVE IN ATLANTA, YOU'VE GOT TO TRY THIS NEW RESTAURANT, "RATHBUN'S". I THINK THAT'S THE NAME. ODD NAME, AMAZING FOOD. AMAZING!

NOW, I'M SURE A LOT OF YOU KNOW THAT, WHEN YOU'RE A CELEBRITY, PEOPLE WANT TO GIVE YOU FREE STUFF. A LOT OF TIMES A CELEB WILL GET FREE CLOTHES AND GEAR FROM NIKE, OR GOWNS FROM VERSACE. THEY MIGHT EVEN GET MAKEUP, JEWELRY, MASSAGES, PERFUMES, FREE STAYS AT HOTELS... YOU NAME IT. NOW, I AM WHAT YOU WOULD CALL A "C" CELEB. THAT MIGHT EVEN BE PUSHING IT. I GET FREE STUFF OFFERED TO ME, TOO. AS A MATTER OF FACT, I GOT AN EMAIL FROM THE MAKER OF "BRUSH PICKS" -THE WORLD'S BEST TOOTHPICK™. THEY OFFERED TO SEND ME A BUNCH OF THEIR TOOTHPICKS, IF I PROMISED TO TRY THEM AND TELL THE FOLKS WHAT I THOUGHT OF THEM. WELL, ANYONE WHO REALLY KNOWS ME, KNOWS THAT I ALWAYS HAVE FOOD STUCK IN MY TEETH AFTER A MEAL. REALLY. IT'S A PROBLEM. IT'S A JOKE. SO, I JUMPED AT THE CHANCE TO GET THESE FREE TOOTHPICKS, HOPING THEY WOULD BE MY SAVIOR. WELL, KIDS, BRACE YOURSELVES. I LOVE THEM. I REALLY DO. I KEEP SOME IN MY PURSE, SOME IN MY CAR, AND SOME IN THE HOUSE. I USE THEM ALL THE TIME, AFTER EVER SINGLE MEAL. MY FRIENDS LIKE THEM, TOO. BUT I CAN ONLY SPEAK FOR MYSELF. YOU GOTTA TRY THEM. THEY'RE GREAT. SO, JULIA ROBERTS MAY BE GETTING CLOTHES FROM MARC JACOBS... BUT I AIN'T GOT NO FOOD IN MY TEETH! TAKE THAT, JULIA! HAH!

WHAT ELSE? MY FRIEND DAN SMITH, COMEDYSMITH.COM, JUST PERFORMED FOR THE TROOPS IN AFGHANISTAN. HE SAID IT WAS AMAZING. I THINK IT'S THE COOLEST THING EVER. NO MATTER HOW YOU FEEL ABOUT THIS WAR, THE TROOPS ARE OVER THERE PROTECTING OUR COUNTRY. AND THEY WOULD MUCH RATHER BE HOME. TAKE SOME TIME TO THINK OF THEM AND THEIR FAMILIES.

WHICH BRINGS US TO FAHRENHEIT 9/11. I JUST SAW IT. IT WAS AMAZING. DO YOURSELF A FAVOR AND SEE THIS MOVIE. IT WILL MAKE YOU WANT TO DO SOMETHING ABOUT THE STATE OF OUR COUNTRY, AND OUR GOVERNMENT. IT HAS MADE ME WANT TO BE MORE INFORMED. IT HAS MADE ME WANT TO BE MORE RESPONSIBLE. IT HAS MADE ME WANT TO VOTE, MORE THAN EVER. AND IT HAS MADE ME WANT TO ENCOURAGE OTHERS TO VOTE. ANYONE WHO SAYS MICHAEL MOORE HATES THIS COUNTRY, HAS NO IDEA WHAT PATRIOTISM MEANS. THAT'S ALL I WILL SAY REGARDING POLITICS. FRANKLY, I HATE IT WHEN TV PERSONALITIES TRY TO INFLICT THEIR OPINIONS ON ME. I ALWAYS THINK THEY SHOULD SHUT UP AND ENTERTAIN ME.

SHUTTING UP NOW!

THANKS FOR CHECKING IN, AND FOR BEING PATIENT WITH ME. I HOPE YOU'LL FORGIVE ME FOR HOW LONG IT'S TAKEN TO UPDATE!

HAPPY FOURTH OF JULY!!!

LISA

DASD

****NEW STUFF AS OF 4/21/04****

I'M GETTING A LITTLE BETTER AT THIS, RIGHT? IT'S BEEN ONLY 16 DAYS THIS TIME! SO, WHAT TO WRITE ABOUT...

OH! FIRST OF ALL, I'VE ADDED A COUPLE OF THINGS. I GOT AN EMAIL FROM MATT, WHO REQUESTED I PUT UP A PIC OF OUR PUPPY, BOGART. SO, IT'S THERE ON MY PICS PAGE. I ALSO GOT AN EMAIL FROM JASON, REQUESTING I PUT THE MAD TV "FARRAH FAWCET" BIT ON MY REELS PAGE. SO, IT'S THERE! FORGIVE ME, BUT IT'S ONLY IN QUICKTIME. HOPEFULLY, MOST OF YOU HAVE IT. IF YOU'RE A WINDOWS USER, FOLLOW THIS LINK TO DOWNLOAD IT FOR FREE.

SO, HOW ABOUT THAT APPRENTICE, HUH? I'LL KEEP THIS SHORT, BECAUSE I KNOW YOU'VE HEARD ENOUGH ABOUT IT, BUT I'M OFFICIALLY TURNING "OMAROSA" INTO A CURSE WORD. EVERY TIME SOMEONE LIES TO ME, I'M GOING TO PUMP MY FIST IN THE AIR AND SCREAM, "OMAROSA"! OR, "YOU FREAKING OMAROSA!" OR, "DON'T YOU OMAROSA ME!" OR, "OMAROSA! I JUST STUBBED MY OMAROSA-ING TOE!" OR, "THIS OMAROSA-ING TRAFFIC OMAROSAS!" ALSO, IF SHE SHOWS UP IN SEASON TWO, I'M NOT WATCHING. I'M SICK OF THE MEDIA REWARDING ASSHOLES BY GIVING THEM MORE THAN THEIR 15 MINUTES. WE'RE TURNING INTO A SOCIETY THAT WORSHIPS PRICKS AND IDIOTS. AS A MATTER OF FACT, I'M GOING TO PITCH A SHOW TO FOX CALLED, "WHO WANTS TO MARRY A PRICK OR IDIOT?" OKAY, I'M DONE.

NOW, ONTO THIS HOUSE BUYING THING. WE DID IT. WE LIVE IN OUR HOUSE. WE LOVE IT. BUT, WHY ARE THERE SO MANY SECRETS AMONG THE "LOAN PEOPLE"? THE "LOAN PEOPLE" ARE LIKE AN UNDERGROUND SOCIETY OF PEOPLE WHO KNOW ALL THIS STUFF ABOUT MONEY AND HOUSES AND LOANS AND SHIT, BUT THEY DON'T WANT TO SHARE ANY OF IT WITH THE GENERAL PUBLIC. I THINK THEY HAVE MEETINGS IN LODGES WHERE THEY WEAR FURRY HATS AND THINK UP NEW RULES THAT NO ONE WILLL EVER UNDERSTAND. I MEAN, I'VE HAD TO MAKE SO MANY CALLS ASKING SO MANY QUESTIONS, AND EVERY TIME THEY ANSWER, THEY MAKE YOU FEEL LIKE A FREAK FOR NOT KNOWING THE ANSWER. AND, GUESS WHAT? WHEN I HANG UP THE PHONE, I STILL DON'T KNOW WHAT THEY SAID. THAT'S RIGHT. THEY ALSO HAVE A SECRET LANGUAGE. SO, TAKE IT AS A WARNING, OR JUST ENJOY KNOWING THAT YOU AREN'T THE ONLY ONE WHO'S BEEN THROUGH IT. EITHER WAY, I'M A WHINY BRAT.

OH, I HAVE SO MANY OTHER THINGS TO TALK ABOUT! MAYBE I'LL SAVE SOME OF IT SO I CAN UPDATE AGAIN SOON. ONE MORE THING, THOUGH. YOU NEED TO VISIT A COUPLE OF NEW WEBSITES. RUSSELLARCH.COM IS THE SITE OF THIS AMAZING ANIMATOR AND WRITER THAT I'VE DONE SOME VOICE WORK FOR. HE'S VERY TALENTED AND YOU'LL KNOW OF HIM SOON. YOU MAY RECOGNIZE HIS PROMOS FOR FOX... AS WELL AS THE VOICE OF THE "SHOW & TELL" GIRL. HE DESIGNS ALL OF THE CHARACTERS AND ANIMATES THEM ALL HIMSELF. ALSO, CHECK OUT HIS "CURB YOUR ENTHUSIASM" SPEC SCRIPT. IT'S HILARIOUS. MAXKOCHDRAWS.COM IS THE SITE OF A VERY GOOD FRIEND OF MINE WHO IS TWISTED AND ODD AND BRILLIANT. JUST CHECK IT OUT, LOOK AT HIS ART, AND READ SOME OF HIS STORIES. THEY'RE PHENOMENAL.

THANKS FOR CHECKING IN!

LISA

DASD

****NEW STUFF AS OF 4/5/04****

WELL HELLO THERE!

MAN, IS SOPRANOS KICKING ASS THIS SEASON, OR WHAT? I LOVE THAT SHOW. ACTUALLY, THE ONLY SHOWS I WATCH NOW ARE SOPRANOS, THE APPRENTICE, SURVIVOR ALL STARS, AND THE OCCASIONAL CONAN O'BRIEN AND LETTERMAN. TV HAS LOST SOME OF ITS LUSTER FOR ME. OF COURSE, I CAN'T GET ENOUGH DINNER AND A MOVIE AND CRANK YANKERS... BUT THAT GOES WITHOUT SAYING.

SO, WHAT'S EXCITING? LET'S SEE... I DID A PHOTO SHOOT FOR "STUFF MAGAZINE"! I HAVE TO SAY, IT'S ONE OF THE MOST FUN THINGS I'VE EVER DONE. ORIGINALLY, IT WAS JUST SUPPOSED TO BE A CELEBRITY REVIEW FOR THEIR GEAR SECTION. THEY WANTED ME TO REVIEW SOME BARBEQUES. BUT THEN, THEY DECIDED TO ADD A PICTURE. THUS, THE PHOTO SHOOT! ANYWAY, IT'S GOING TO BE IN THE JUNE ISSUE, SO BUY SEVERAL COPIES!! I REALLY ENJOYED MY SELF, AND I HOPE TO DO MANY MORE SCANTILY-CLAD PHOTO SHOOTS IN THE FUTURE.

WHAT ELSE? MY HUSBAND, OUR DOG AND I WERE IN A PRETTY SHITTY CAR ACCIDENT ON FRIDAY. APPARENTLY, NOT EVERYONE LIKES TO STOP AT RED LIGHTS. WE WERE REAR-ENDED PRETTY FREAKING HARD. BUT, LUCKILY, WE'RE ALL OKAY! IT'S SO NERVE WRACKING, THOUGH. FIRST, YOU REALIZE YOU'VE BEEN HIT. THEN, YOU REALIZE YOU'RE HALF WAY OUT INTO THE MIDDLE OF THE INTERSECTION. THEN, YOU'RE PULLING OVER AND GETTING OUT OF THE CAR TO TALK TO THE GUY WHO RAMMED INTO YOU AT 40 MILES AN HOUR. THEN YOUR CAR'S BEING TOWED TO THE SHOP AND YOU'RE LEAVING A SOBBING MESSAGE ON YOUR FRIEND'S MACHINE ASKING TO BE PICKED UP. THEN YOUR FRIEND COMES AND TAKES YOU HOME AND MAKES YOU FEEL BETTER ABOUT THE WHOLE THING. THEN YOU AND YOUR HUSBAND GO TO URGENT CARE AND FIND OUT EVERYTHING THAT'S GOING TO HURT YOU OVER THE NEXT COUPLE OF WEEKS. THEN YOU THANK GOD YOU WEREN'T HURT WORSE, AND YOU GO ABOUT YOUR LIFE. THAT MIGHT JUST BE MY EXPERIENCE, THOUGH. THE GOOD NEWS IS, THREE PEOPLE STOPPED TO GIVE US THEIR BUSINESS CARD IN CASE WE NEEDED WITNESSES. IT MADE ME LIKE PEOPLE FOR A MINUTE. I KNOW I'M RAMBLING, BUT GIVE ME A BREAK! I WAS IN AN ACCIDENT! HAVEN'T YOU BEEN LISTENING????

I'M NOT REALLY SURE WHAT ELSE TO WRITE. I HAVEN'T BEEN GREAT WITH MY EMAIL RESPONSES LATELY, AND I'M GOING TO TRY TO GET TO A BUNCH OF THEM NEXT WEEK. PLEASE FORGIVE ME IF I'M SLOW WITH A RESPONSE. YOUR EMAILS ARE VERY IMPORTANT TO ME.

OH YEAH, ONE MORE THING. I ALSO REALLY ENJOY SOUTH PARK.

NOW I'M DONE. HAVE A GREAT WEEK!

THANKS FOR CHECKING IN!

LISA

DASD

****NEW STUFF AS OF 3/16/04****

OKAY. I KNOW. IT'S BEEN NEARLY TWO MONTHS SINCE I'VE UPDATED. WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME? WELL, I WILL SAY, I'VE BEEN VERY BUSY. BUT I KNOW THAT'S NO EXCUSE.

FIRST OF ALL, I MOVED. THAT ALONE IS ENOUGH. I NEVER KNEW HOW STRESSFUL MOVING WAS, AS THIS WAS MY FIRST MOVE AS AN "ADULT". THE LAST TIME I MOVED I WAS ABOUT 23 YEARS OLD, AND I HAD VERY LITTLE. I GUESS I'VE ACCUMULATED A BUNCH OF SHIT OVER THE YEARS. MIX THAT WITH MY HUSBAND'S SHIT, AND YOU'VE GOT ONE HELL OF A MOVE! AND, SERIOUSLY, WE DON'T HAVE THAT MUCH SHIT. BUT, TO BE HONEST, I'M GOING TO TRY TO COLLECT AS LITTLE SHIT AS POSSIBLE IN THE NEXT SEVERAL YEARS SO THAT THE NEXT MOVE IS NO WORSE. SHIT.

SECONDLY, WE NOW TAPE DINNER AND A MOVIE IN ATLANTA. THAT'S RIGHT. ATLANTA. SEE, THAT'S WHERE OL' TED TURNER IS HEADQUARTERED, AND THAT'S WHERE WE'LL BE SHOOTING FROM NOW ON. SO, MOVE OVER "GUY SITTING IN THAT AIRLINE SEAT"! I NEED TO GET TO GEORGIA! I'LL BE TRAVELLING A LOT NOW, SEE? ME NO LIKE TO TRAVEL. BUT ME LIKE HAVING A JOB. SO, ME TRAVEL.

CAN YOU TELL I'M A LITTLE PUNCHY?

THIRD, I JUST GOT BACK FROM VEGAS WHERE WE SHOT TWO DINNER AND A MOVIE EPISODES AND A TBS SPECIAL CALLED SUPER CHEF COOK OFF. I THINK IT AIRS THIS SATURDAY. CHECK YOU LOCAL LISTING. OR DON'T. IT'S TOTALLY UP TO YOU. NOW, VEGAS HAPPENS TO BE ONE OF MY FAVORITE PLACES ON EARTH, BUT THE SECOND WE GOT THERE, I GOT BROCHITIS. SO, VEGAS WAS NO FUN THIS TIME. THE PRODUCTION ACTUALLY SENT A DOCTOR TO MY ROOM! $250 DOLLARS LATER, I HAD A DIAGNOSIS AND THE OFFER OF AN ANTIBIOTIC SHOT. A SHOT? IN MY HOTEL ROOM? NO THANKS, DOC. I'LL TAKE IT THE OLD FASHIONED WAY. AND, WOULDN'T YOU KNOW IT, I HAD ANTIBIOTICS DELIVERED TO MY ROOM A MERE HOUR AND A HALF LATER. BEING SICK IN VEGAS SUCKS. I MISSED OUT ON PARTYING WITH ALL THESE AMAZING CHEFS, AND ALL THE COOL PEOPLE I WORK WITH. I ALSO MISSED OUT ON WATCHING THEM ALL LOSE HUNDREDS OF DOLLARS, WHILE I WOULD HAVE BEEN BETTING $5 DOLLARS AT A TIME, AND PLAYING NICKEL SLOTS. DAMMIT. I DIDN' T EVEN HAVE ONE BEER OR COCKTAIL. NOT THAT I'M A BIG DRINKER, BUT IT'S VEGAS!!!! I HOPE YOU CAN'T TELL HOW SICK I AM ON THE SHOWS.

WHAT ELSE? OH! MY GROUNDED FOR LIFE EPISODE IS AIRING THIS FRIDAY, THE 19TH! ONLY 5 MONTHS AFTER IT WAS ORIGINALLY SUPPOSED TO AIR. BUT, I'M HAPPY ANYWAY. CHECK IT OUT ON THE WB.

OTHER THAN THAT, I'M UNPACKING, WATCHING OUR NEW DIRECT TV, AND PLAYING WITH OUR NEW DOG. YES! WE GOT A PUPPY! HE'S A BOXER, GERMAN SHEPHERD MIX. HE'S HANDSOME AND BRILLIANT AND EVERYTHING WE EVER WANTED. HAVING A DOG ROCKS. I DIDN'T MEAN TO SAY THAT. IT'S LATE AND I DON'T KNOW HOW TO CONVEY WHAT I REALLY WANT TO SAY ABOUT OUR DOG. SO I SAID HE ROCKS. I AM SO SORRY.

THANKS FOR CHECKING IN!

LISA

DASD

****NEW STUFF AS OF 1/23/04****

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

OKAY, I'M GOING TO BE HONEST... VERY LITTLE HAS GONE ON IN THE THREE WEEKS SINCE I'VE UPDATED. I SAW A GREAT MOVIE, "LOST IN TRANSLATION", HUNG OUT WITH FRIENDS, AND WENT OUT TO EAT A LOT.

SPEAKING OF WHICH, WHAT'S THE DEAL WITH PEOPLE WHO WORK IN RESTAURANTS TREATING THEIR CUSTOMERS BADLY? WHY DO PEOPLE EAT AT THESE PLACES? I WORKED AS A WAITRESS FOR SEVEN YEARS, AND I WAS ALWAYS TOLD THAT CUSTOMERS LIKE TO BE TREATED WELL! I GUESS THAT'S A LIE, BECAUSE IT SEEMS LIKE THE BUSIEST PLACES ARE THE ONES WITH HORRIBLE SERVICE. CASE IN POINT: I'VE BEEN WANTING TO TRY THIS RESTAURANT CALLED SENIOR FRED THAT OPENED IN THE VALLEY. WE WENT WITH A COUPLE OF FRIENDS ON A SUNDAY NIGHT AT 6:30. WE HAD MADE A RESERVATION, SO WE WERE SEATED IMMEDIATELY, BUT THE PLACE WAS ALSO ONLY HALF FULL. (SEE HOW OPTIMISTIC I AM? I COULD HAVE SAID, "HALF EMPTY.") SO, WE ORDERED OUR FOOD AND A BOTTLE OF PERRIER. THE PERRIER CAME, THE FOOD CAME, AND THE WAITRESS SEEMED TO HAVE LEFT THE BUILDING. THE FOOD WAS MEDIOCRE, AND BY THE TIME WE SAW OUR WAITRESS AGAIN, ALL OF OUR PLATES HAD BEEN BUSSED. WE ASKED FOR ANOTHER BOTTLE OF PERRIER AND THE DESSERT MENU. BY THE WAY, AT ONE POINT THE WAITRESS HAD COME BY TO TAKE OUR CHIPS AND SALSA BASKET, UTTERING, "I'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH SOME MORE." I'LL GIVE YOU ONE GUESS WHETHER OR NOT WE GOT THOSE CHIPS. WE ORDERED DESSERT, ATE IT, AND GOT THE CHECK. AS SOON AS WE SIGNED THE RECEIPT, THE HOSTESS CAME OVER AND GAVE US THIS SPEECH: "UM, I DON'T WANT TO BE RUDE, BUT IT WOULD BE REALLY GREAT IF YOU COULD GET UP PRETTY SOON. THERE ARE A LOT OF PEOPLE WAITING FOR TABLES. (DRAMATIC PAUSE) AND YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN HERE FOR TWO HOURS." TAKE THAT IN FOR A SEC. CAN YOU BELIEVE SHE SAID THAT???? IT'S THE RUDEST THING THAT HAS EVER HAPPENED TO ME. FIRST OF ALL, IF THE SERVICE WAS BETTER, WE WOULD HAVE BEEN OUT A HALF HOUR EARLIER. I MEAN, EXCEPT FOR THAT FAILED CHIP EXPEDITION, THE WAITRESS NEVER EVEN CAME BACK TO CHECK ON US!!!! SECOND OF ALL, F**K OFF!!! . BUT, OF COURSE, ON OUR WAY OUT WE NOTICED AT LEAST 40 PEOPLE WAITING TO GET A TABLE. PEOPLE LOVE ABUSE. I WILL NEVER EAT THERE AGAIN.

HERE'S ONE MORE EXAMPLE. THERE'S A PLACE ON 3RD ST. IN WEST HOLLYWOOD CALLED CYNTHIA'S. MY HUSBAND AND I ATE THERE ONE VALENTINES DAY ABOUT 5 YEARS AGO WITH 4 OTHER PEOPLE. THE FOOD WAS FAIR, AND AGAIN THE SERVICE WAS REPULSIVE. THE OWNER, CYNTHIA, WAS SEATING PEOPLE AND MAKING THEM FEEL LIKE THEY SHOULD KISS HER FEET FOR ALLOWING THEM TO STEP FOOT INTO HER EXCLUSIVE EATERY. NOT TO MENTION, MY FRIEND TONY HAD A TRAY OF BEERS SPILLED ON HIS LAP. THE REWARD FOR THIS WAS A FREE DESSERT, WHICH WE CHOSE TO BE COBBLER. NOW, I WILL SAY THIS, IT WAS THE BEST COBBLER EVER. IT WAS SO GOOD THAT, EVEN THOUGH WE SWORE WE'D NEVER RETURN, MY HUSBAND AND I WALKED IN THE OTHER NIGHT TO ASK IF WE COULD GET A COBBLER TO GO. (COINCIDENTALLY, WE WERE WITH TONY AGAIN!) WELL, GUESS WHO WE HAD TO ASK! THAT'S RIGHT! CYNTHIA! I APPROACHED HER AS SHE SAT AT A BACK TABLE WITH SOME VERY LUCKY PEOPLE. "CAN I HELP YOU," SHE QUERIED? "YES," SAID I, "IS IT POSSIBLE TO GET A COBBLER TO GO?" BEFORE THE WORD "GO" WAS COMPLETELY OUT OF MY MOUTH, CYNTHIA PRACTICALLY HISSED, "NO! WE DON'T DO THAT HERE!" THIS TIME, I PROMISE, I WILL NEVER ENTER THAT ESTABLISHMENT AGAIN. I HATE THAT PEOPLE FLOCK TO THESE PLACES JUST TO SAY THEY ATE THERE. YOU KNOW WHAT? I EAT AT SHARKEY'S A LOT NOW. IT'S GOOD. IT'S FRESH. IT'S FAST. THEY HAVE TOFU BURRITOS. AND WHEN I ASK FOR GUACAMOLE, THE WOMAN BEHIND THE COUNTER SMILES AND SAYS, "DO YOU WANT THAT IN YOUR BURRITO, OR ON THE SIDE?" I SAY, "ON THE SIDE." AND I GET IT WITH NO ATTITUDE! AS A MATTER OF FACT, THERE IS SUCH A LACK OF ATTITUDE, IT'S ALMOST A PLEASANTNESS, IF THAT'S STILL POSSIBLE.

WOW. FOR SOMEONE WITH NOTHING TO SAY, I HAVE A LOT TO SAY.

HOPE YOU ENJOYED MY RESTAURANT REVIEW.

OH YEAH-LOOK FOR ME ON CMT ON THE 100 GREATEST COUNTRY MUSIC VIDEOS OF ALL TIME IN APRIL. I'LL BE DOING A LOT OF TALKING ABOUT SHANIA TWAIN AND FAITH HILL. THOSE ARE THE ONLY TWO COUNTRY MUSIC ARTISTS I KNOW ABOUT. IT WAS VERY FUN TO TAPE, AND HOPEFULLY WILL BE AS FUN TO WATCH. YES, I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE THINKING. I DON'T KNOW HOW I GOT ROPED INTO IT EITHER. BUT, YOU KNOW, THOSE COWBOYS ARE GOOD WITH A LASSO.

THANKS FOR CHECKING IN!!

LISA

****NEW STUFF AS OF 12/29/03****

HEY YOU CRAZY CATS! WELL, OBVIOUSLY I'VE GOTTEN NO BETTER AT THIS UPDATING THING. I KNOW! I'LL MAKE IT A NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTION! OKAY, I HEREBY RESOLVE TO UPDATE THIS PAGE AT LEAST EVERY OTHER WEEK. THAT'S GOOD, RIGHT? TWICE A MONTH. I CAN HANDLE THAT. MY CAT SONNY JUST CURLED UP ON MY LAP, SOMEHOW SIGNIFYING THAT I'VE MADE A GOOD CHOICE. YES, SONNY, WE WILL KEEP THIS RESOLUTION. YOU WILL HELP ME BY CURLING UP ON MY LAP EVERY OTHER WEEK AS IF TO SAY, "ISN'T IT TIME TO UPDATE YOUR WEBSITE, MOM?" AND I'LL SAY, "ISN'T IT ODD THAT YOU CALL ME MOM? I MEAN, I DIDN'T GIVE BIRTH TO YOU. SOME CAT DID. SOME SLUTTY CAT THAT PROBABLY DIDN'T EVEN KNOW YOUR FATHER. AND SHE'S PROBABLY ON SOME KIND OF TABLOID SHOW RIGHT NOW TALKING ABOUT HER KITTY'S DADDY." WOW, HOW DID THAT JUST HAPPEN. AND I JUST REALIZED I BEGAN THIS BY SAYING, "HEY YOU CRAZY CATS!" HMMM... IT'S ALL MAKING SENSE NOW.

OKAY, SO WHAT'S NEW? I WAS SUPER DUPER SICK FOR A WHOLE DAMN WEEK. I DIDN'T EVEN LEAVE MY HOME. HECK, I DIDN'T EVEN LEAVE MY COUCH! FOR SEVEN WHOLE DAYS I DID NOTHING BUT WHINE AD COUGH AND SWEAT WITH A 102* FEVER. THEN I GAVE IT TO MY HUSBAND. WHAT FUN THAT WAS! WE DIDN'T EVEN GET TO GO ON OUR CHRISTMAS TRIP. BUT THEN CHRISTMAS TURNED OUT TO BE ODDLY LOVELY, WITH OUR FIRST HOME MADE CHRISTMAS DINNER AND A VIEWING OF "A CHRISTMAS STORY". OKAY, LISA, NOW YOU'RE GETTING A LITTLE TOO PERSONAL. NO ONE CARES.

A LOT OF YOU HAVE BEEN WRITING WITH QUESTIONS ABOUT "CRANK YANKERS", SO I'M GOING TO PUT UP A SECTION WITH ANSWERS TO A LOT OF THE QUESTIONS. HOPEFULLY IT'LL BE BOTH FUN AND INFORMATIVE! IF YOU'RE INTERESTED, YOU CAN FIND IT HERE.

ALSO, I'VE ADDED A COUPLE OF LINKS TO MY PERSONAL PAGE. THEY'RE COMPANIES THAT I AM INCREDIBLY FOND OF, AND I THINK THEY DESERVE A LOT OF RECOGNITION. ONE IS MERRELL SHOES. I LOVE THESE SHOES!!! THEY ARE HONESTLY THE MOST COMFORTABLE, LONG WEARING SHOES I'VE EVER HAD. NOT TO MENTION, THEY'RE DAMN CUTE! AND I HAVE A TON OF 'EM!

ALSO, I MET THIS WOMAN AT A CHARITY BOUTIQUE WHO SELLS THE BEST YOGA PANTS IN THE WORLD! THEY FIT GREAT, THEY FEEL GREAT, THEY'RE AMAZING! SHE ALSO HAS THESE TANK TOPS THAT ARE ADORABLE! I'VE WORN A FEW ON THE SHOW. HER LINK IS ON THERE, TOO.

OTHERWISE, CHECK OUT THE NEW PICS ON THE PICTURES PAGE, AND THE NEW CRANK YANKER CLIP ON THE REELS PAGE. VERY SOON I'LL PUT UP A NEW HOSTING REEL, AND MAYBE SOME MORE VOICE OVER STUFF.

MAY YOUR NEW YEAR BE FILLED WITH PEACE, LOVE, HEALTH, AND GREAT JOY! I WISH YOU ALL THE BEST IN 2004. THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR CHECKING IN.

XOXO

LISA

DASD

****NEW STUFF AS OF 11/11/03****

HI EVERYONE! YOU'D THINK I WOULD GET OFF MY BUTT AND UPDATE THIS THING MORE OFTEN. I SUCK. BUT, HERE I AM. AND AT LEAST I'M TRYING, RIGHT? RIGHT????

SO, HERE GOES IT: IT LOOKS AS THOUGH I'M CURSED IN THE DEPARTMENT OF SHOWS I SHOOT ACTUALLY AIRING. NOT ONLY DID MY RENO 911! NEVER AIR, BUT NOW IT SEEMS LIKE THE "GROUNDED FOR LIFE" EPISODE I SHOT IS NEVER GOING TO AIR! IT WAS SUPPOSED TO AIR OCT. 24TH, BUT IT WAS BUMPED FOR SOME HALLOWEEN SPECIAL, AND IT STILL HASN'T AIRED! I'M SURE IT WILL SHOW UP SOMETIME SOON, AND I'LL LET YOU KNOW AS SOON AS I KNOW. I MEAN, C'MON, SIT-COMS ARE EXPENSIVE. THEY CAN'T JUST SHOOT THEM WILLY-NILLY AND THEN NOT AIR THEM! I REALLY WANTED TO SAY WILLY-NILLY ONE TIME IN THIS UPDATE.

IN OTHER NEWS, I SHOT AN EPISODE OF "CHARMED" THAT'S SUPPOSED TO AIR ON MY BIRTHDAY, NOVEMBER 23RD. SEE ABOVE PARAGRAPH TO SEE HOW PROBABLE THAT IS! I HAD A GREAT TIME SHOOTING IT. NONE OF THE STARS OF THE SHOW ARE IN MY SCENE. I PLAY A TOUR GUIDE AT THE HALLIWELL HOUSE THAT HAS BEEN TURNED I NTO A MUSEUM. IT WAS A BLAST, AND SOMETHING VERY DIFFERENT FOR ME.

I JUST GOT BACK FROM NEW YORK WHERE WE SHOT THE WEEKEND EDITION OF THE TODAY SHOW. IT WAS PRETTY DAMN COOL. WHILE WE WERE THERE, (THE DINNER AND A MOVIE GUYS AND ME), WE ALSO SHOT A SPECIAL FOR BRAVO CALLED "THE 20 SEXIEST MOVIES OF ALL TIME", OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT. I HAVE NO IDEA WHEN THAT'LL AIR, OR IF THEY'LL USE ANY OF OUR STUFF, BUT KEEP YOUR FINGERS CROSSED. ACTUALLY, KEEP ALL OF YOUR APPENDAGES CROSSED THAT ANY OF THE STUFF I HAVE SHOT WILL EVER AIR!!!! N.Y. WAS COLD, AND CLEAR, AND MAGNIFICENT. WE HAD A FEW GOOD MEALS, TOOK IN A BROADWAY SHOW, (URINETOWN), AND STAYED AT AN INCREDIBLY PRETENTIOUS HOTEL. "THE W" HOTEL IS COOL AND ALL, BUT THE LOUNGE/BAR/LOBBY AREA TAKES YOU RIGHT BACK TO HIGH SCHOOL WHEN EVERYONE WAS COOLER THAN YOU, AND YOU WANTED TO RUN AWAY TO AN ISLAND WHERE BIG-NOSED DRAMA GEEKS WERE ALL THE RAGE. OR MAYBE THAT'S JUST ME. THE ROOM WAS NICE, THOUGH. VERY MODERN.

LAST BUT NOT LEAST, I'M ABOUT TO MAKE MY CRANK CALLS FOR "CRANK YANKERS" FOURTH SEASON. AT LEAST THOSE HAVE BEEN AIRING!!!

THANKS FOR CHECKING IN. I REALLY REALLY PROMISE I'LL TRY TO DO BETTER WITH THIS. AND CHECK IN SOON FOR NEW PICS!

XO

LISA

DASD

****NEW STUFF AS OF 10/16/03****

OKAY, I'M GOING TO MAKE THIS SORT OF SHORT, BECAUSE I NEED TO GET SOME SLEEP!

I WENT TO THE PREMIERE OF "WINDY CITY HEAT" ON SUNDAY NIGHT. I HAVE TO SAY IT WAS ONE OF THE ODDEST NIGHTS I CAN REMEMBER. PERRY WAS THERE, HAPPY AS CAN BE. THAT'S A GOOD THING. IF YOU HAVEN'T SEEN THIS MOVIE ON COMEDY CENTRAL, I HIGHLY RECOMMEND YOU MAKE IT A PRIORITY. I BELIEVE IT'S ON AGAIN OCT. 18TH AT 12:00 PM, AND OCT 19TH AT 1:00 AM. CHECK YOUR LISTINGS TO BE SURE. I PLAY SUSAN B. ANTHONY AND JIGGLY WRIGGLEY. HOWARD STERN GIVES IT A BIG THUMBS UP! (OR WHATEVER THE HOWARD STERN EQUIVALENT OF A GOOD REVIEW IS).

THE "GROUNDED FOR LIFE" EPISODE THAT I'M IN AIRS FRIDAY, OCTOBER 24TH AT 9:00 PM ON THE WB. AGAIN, DOUBLE CHECK YOUR LOCAL LISTINGS. IT'S A CUTE EPISODE.

AND, IN CASE YOU HAVEN'T BEEN WATCHING, THEY'VE BEEN AIRING QUITE A FEW OF MY CALLS ON "CRANK YANKERS". THAT MAKES ME SO DARN HAPPY!! AND I'M STILL HAVING A BLAST ON "DINNER AND A MOVIE".

ONE LAST THING: I'VE OFFICIALLY LOST ABOUT 8 POUNDS ON "BODY FOR LIFE". (NOT TO BE CONFUSED WITH "GROUNDED FOR LIFE"). I CAN'T SAY ENOUGH GOOD THINGS ABOUT THE PROGRAM. IF YOU'RE LOOKING FOR A WAY TO CHANGE YOUR EATING AND EXERCISE HABITS, I THINK YOU SHOULD CHECK OUT THE WEBSITE AT WWW.BODYFORLIFE.COM. DON'T TAKE MY WORD FOR IT... TAKE YOUR OWN! OR SOMETHNG LIKE THAT.

THANKS SO MUCH FOR CHECKING IN!

LISA

DASD

****NEW STUFF AS OF 9/26/03****

I HAD THE ABSOLUTE MOST WONDERFUL TIME SHOOTING "GROUNDED FOR LIFE"! I BELIEVE IT'S THE 5TH EPISODE OF THE SEASON, BUT I WILL UPDATE YOU WHEN I KNOW FOR SURE. I WAS ABLE TO GET A COPY OF THE SCRIPT SIGNED BY EVERYONE IN THE CAST! I WOULD LIKE TO SELL IT, AND ANY MONEY I GET FOR IT WILL GO DIRECTLY TO MY FAVORITE CHARITY, THE CITY OF HOPE. IT'S A HOSPITAL IN DUARTE WHERE THEY LEAD THE NATION IN AIDS AND CANCER RESEARCH. AND THEY'RE COMPLETELY FUNDED BY PEOPLE WHO RAISE MONEY FOR THEM. I KNOW SIGNED SCRIPTS DON'T GENERALLY RAISE A LOT OF DOUGH, BUT THIS CHARITY IS VERY IMPORTANT TO ME, AND YOU WILL BE ABLE TO WRITE A CHECK DIRECTLY TO THEM, SO IT'S A WRITE-OFF. THE FIRST PERSON TO EMAIL ME WITH A BID OF $50 DOLLARS OR MORE, WILL GET IT. I'LL TAKE CARE OF THE SHIPPING AND INCLUDE A SIGNED PIC. I PLAN ON DOING A TON OF EVENTS FOR CITY OF HOPE IN THE FUTURE, AND I WILL ALWAYS KEEP YOU INFORMED. BY THE WAY, FEEL FREE TO BID AS MUCH AS YOU WANT!!

TUNE IN TO CRANK YANKERS TUESDAY NIGHT, SEPTEMBER 30TH AT 10:00 ON COMEDY CENTRAL FOR MY FIRST CALL OF THE SEASON. IT'S A GOOD ONE, AND IT'S DOWNRIGHT MEAN! I GOT TO TALK TO THE WOMAN I CALLED AFTERWARD AND SHE WAS CRACKING UP. (THAT HELPED MY GUILTY COMPLEX QUITE A BIT). THERE ARE PROMOS RUNNING ALL THIS WEEK WITH CAMMI. YAY!

LAST NIGHT I HAD A GREAT TIME AS THE CELEBRITY GUEST FOR "LEGENDARY BINGO!" IT'S A FUN NIGHT WHERE THIS FABULOUS TRANSVESTITE DIVA CALLS BINGO AT A RESTAURANT IN WEST HOLLYWOOD. THEY DO IT EVERY WEEK FOR A DIFFERENT CHARITY, AND THIS TIME IT WAS FOR APLA, (AIDS PROJECT LOS ANGELES). THEY RAISED QUITE A BIT OF DOUGH, AND I PLAN ON RETURNING FREQUENTLY JUST TO PLAY! THEY ACTUALLY HAVE A TON OF PEOPLE THAT GO TO EVERY EVENT. BINGO GROUPIES. WHO KNEW?

THAT'S IT FOR NOW. KEEP CHECKING BACK, AND THANKS FOR CHECKING IN!

LISA

DASD

****NEW STUFF AS OF 9/12/03****

OKAY, FIRST OF ALL I'M AWARE THAT I WENT WAY TOO LONG WITHOUT UPDATING AGAIN. SECOND OF ALL, I AM ONCE AGAIN WRITING IN ALL CAPS BECAUSE THE TEACHER HAS BEEN OVER-RULED! (SEE LAST MONTH'S UPDATE). I GOT SEVERAL EMAILS SAYING THEY PREFERRED THIS VERSION, AND THAT IT'S EASIER TO READ. ONE HILARIOUS AUSSIE SUGGESTED THAT IF I LISTENED TO EVERYTHING MY TEACHERS EVER TOLD ME, I'D BE A LAWYER OR AN ACCOUNTANT BY NOW. TOUCHE'! STILL, I APPRECIATED THE TEACHER'S SUGGESTION AND GAVE IT A GO. IT DIDN'T WORK OUT. MOVING ON.

(GEEZ, LISA, DO YOU REALLY HAVE SO LITTLE GOING ON THAT YOU JUST SPENT AN ENTIRE PARAGRAGH BABBLING ABOUT WHETHER OR NOT YOU WERE GOING TO TYPE IN ALL-CAPS? WHAT KIND OF "C" CELEBRITY ARE YOU?)

SO, THE BIG NEWS IS THAT THE NEW SEASON OF "CRANK YANKERS" STARTS SEPTEMBER 16TH AT 10:00 PM! I'M VERY EXCITED. APPARENTLY, IT'S AIRING IN AUSTRALIA NOW. HOW COOL IS THAT? I THINK I HAVE SOME PRETTY GOOD CALLS COMING UP THIS SEASON, IF THEY CHOOSE TO AIR THEM. I HOPE YOU'LL TUNE IN.

TUESDAY NIGHT I WENT TO THE GRAND OPENING OF A NEW RESTAURANT CALLED "AMALFI" IN WEST HOLLYWOOD. IT'S PART-OWNED BY ADAM CAROLLA OF "MAN SHOW" AND "CRANK YANKERS" FAME. THE PLACE IS BEAUTIFUL AND THE FOOD ROCKED. THE ACME THEATER IS ALSO RIGHT NEXT DOOR. I USED TO PERFORM THERE. IF YOU'RE EVER IN TOWN AND LOOKING FOR A GREAT NIGHT OF COMEDY AND FOOD, GO THERE! UNFORTUNATELY, I LEFT THE PARTY BEFORE ADAM (AND PROBABLY SOME PRESS) EVEN GOT THERE. I'M SUCH A WUSS WHEN IT COMES TO GOING OUT. (ESPECIALLY WHEN I'M WORKING).

WHICH BRINGS ME TO THE MOST FUN NEWS OF ALL. I'M SHOOTING AN EPISODE OF "GROUNDED FOR LIFE" THIS WEEK. IF YOU'VE NEVER SEEN IT, IT USED TO BE ON FOX, BUT NOW IT'S ON THE WB. IT'S A VERY GOOD SHOW STARRING DONOL LOGUE. (YOU KNOW, THE GUY FROM "THE TAO OF STEVE", AND ALL THOSE MTV PROMOS WITH THE CAB DRIVER). IT'S APPARENTLY THE 5TH EPISODE OF THE SEASON, SO WATCH FOR IT. MY PART ISN'T SO BIG, AND I'M MOSTLY THE STRAIGHT MAN IN MY SCENE, BUT IT'S A GOOD PART ON A REALLY GOOD SHOW. I DID RUN INTO ONE PROBLEM, THOUGH. AFTER LUNCH ON THE SET TODAY, THE WRITER OF THE EPISODE HAD 12 PIES SENT IN. YES, 12!!!! NOW, IF YOU READ MY UPDATE PAGE REGULARLY, YOU KNOW OF MY PIE OBSESSION. YOU ALSO KNOW ABOUT THE EATING PROGRAM I'M ON. WELL, MY WILL-POWER WON OUT, AND I ONLY HAD TWO BITES! THAT'S RIGHT, FRIENDS. ONE BITE OF APPLE PIE. AND ONE BITE OF PUMPKIN. AND, YOU KNOW WHAT? IT WAS ENOUGH FOR ME. (I'LL KEEP SAYING THAT UNTIL I BELIEVE IT). (HAVE I USED AN INORDINATE AMOUNT OF PARENTHESES IN THIS UPDATE)? (I BELIEVE I HAVE).

LAST BUT NOT LEAST, I KNOW I HAVE A BUNCH OF EMAILS TO RETURN. MY APOLOGIES. I WILL GET TO THEM SOON. I HOPE YOU ARE ALL WELL.

THANKS FOR CHECKING IN!

LISA

DASD

****NEW STUFF AS OF 8/19/03****

Boy, I have to get better at this "weekly update" thing. Maybe I should call it a "bi-monthly" update. Okay, I'll try to do better.

So, let's see... my RENO 911! has still not aired, and I'm not sure when it's going to, or if it will. But, keep watching! It's so darn funny.

My husband and I just got back from a quick trip to Vegas. We had a great time, ate too much, gambled a bit, and relaxed. Very nice.

Also, I've been on this really cool diet for 3 weeks now. It's called Body For Life. (I get one free day of eating anything I want every week, thus the "eating too much" in Vegas.) I'm seeing some pretty great results. I'll tell you more about it as I go on. But I will say that it's an amazing program. I've lost a few pounds and I feel really healthy. It's definitely something to look into if you're looking to change your eating and exercising habits. But, it's pretty rigid, so you should check with your doctor if you're not used to that stuff. Wow, an actual disclaimer from yours truly. How odd.

One last thing. I got an email from a teacher who said she didn't like that this page was in all CAPS. She said it felt like I was yelling. Well, I thought I'd try to accomodate her by typing normally this week. I hope it's still easy to read. See? I DO READ MY EMAILS! Sorry, I didn't mean to yell. Thanks, "Teach"!

Thanks for checking in!

Lisa

DASD

****NEW STUFF AS OF 7/27/03****

I WENT TO THE PREMIERE PARTY FOR "RENO 911!" ON WEDNESDAY NIGHT. I HAVE TO SAY, IT'S ONE OF THE FUNNIEST SHOWS I'VE SEEN IN A LONG TIME. I'M STILL NOT SURE WHICH EPISODE I'M IN, BUT I'LL BE WATCHING ALL OF THEM ANYWAY! IT'S ON EVERY WEDNESDAY NIGHT AT 10:30, AND THEY RE-AIR IT CONSTANTLY.

MONDAY NIGHT'S DINNER AND A MOVIE IS A REPEAT OF "MAVERICK". I THINK GEORGE LOPEZ STOPPED BY FOR THIS ONE. HE WAS REALLY COOL. NEXT WEEK IS A NEW ONE: "MRS. WINTERBOURNE." PRETTY LAME FLICK, BUT I HAD SO MUCH FUN SHOOTING THE EPISODE! I SUGGEST YOU WATCH FOR THE ANTICS. (PLUS, THE MOVIE'S GOT BRENDAN FRASER AND SHIRLEY MACLAINE).

OTHERWISE, NOTHING TOO EXCITING. I'M JUST ENJOYING THE BEAUTIFUL CALIFORNIA SUMMER. (IT'S NICE, IF YOU DON'T MIND 104 DEGREES!)

THANKS FOR CHECKING IN!

LISA

DASD

****NEW STUFF AS OF 7/27/03****

I WENT TO THE PREMIERE PARTY FOR "RENO 911!" ON WEDNESDAY NIGHT. I HAVE TO SAY, IT'S ONE OF THE FUNNIEST SHOWS I'VE SEEN IN A LONG TIME. I'M STILL NOT SURE WHICH EPISODE I'M IN, BUT I'LL BE WATCHING ALL OF THEM ANYWAY! IT'S ON EVERY WEDNESDAY NIGHT AT 10:30, AND THEY RE-AIR IT CONSTANTLY.

MONDAY NIGHT'S DINNER AND A MOVIE IS A REPEAT OF "MAVERICK". I THINK GEORGE LOPEZ STOPPED BY FOR THIS ONE. HE WAS REALLY COOL. NEXT WEEK IS A NEW ONE: "MRS. WINTERBOURNE." PRETTY LAME FLICK, BUT I HAD SO MUCH FUN SHOOTING THE EPISODE! I SUGGEST YOU WATCH FOR THE ANTICS. (PLUS, THE MOVIE'S GOT BRENDAN FRASER AND SHIRLEY MACLAINE).

OTHERWISE, NOTHING TOO EXCITING. I'M JUST ENJOYING THE BEAUTIFUL CALIFORNIA SUMMER. (IT'S NICE, IF YOU DON'T MIND 104 DEGREES!)

THANKS FOR CHECKING IN!

LISA

 

P.S. AS WELL AS BEING A COFFEE LOVER, I'M ALSO QUITE FOND OF PIE - - IN FACT, IT SEEMS THAT I'M OBSESSED WITH IT. SO MUCH SO, IT INSPIRED THE FOLLOWING CARTOON... CREATED BY MY VERY TALENTED FRIEND, MAX KOCH.